It’s hard to believe it’s been one full year since EVERY LITTLE BAD IDEA came into the world. I remember that shaky feeling of excitement and nerves, wondering how my book would be received. Hoping that it would find even just one person who needed it.
The book and its launch were a dream come true. My friends and family rallied around me as a writer, and I felt “legit.” August was a whirlwind of book love and excitement.
And now it’s been a whole year…so what’s happened in the meantime?
Well, a wise professor once told me to keep writing the moment you put one of your books or stories out into the world, to keep yourself from going crazy. So that’s exactly what I did! I started another book…and then another…and then another…but I couldn’t keep focused on any one project. And there was a reason for that—I got pregnant in September.
As soon as I found out, all my mental energy went to learning all I could about babies, because I knew very little. And all my physical energy went to…well, growing a human. I was tired, overwhelmed, and my head was literally always spinning, like one of those carnival games that spins around and around until the little ticker lands on a colored wedge.
Growing a human is not unlike growing a novel, except the fact that you can’t abandon ship the moment the plot gets a little tangled. But it’s a marathon. I read a study that said pregnancy pushes women to the limit of what the human body can endure. I believe that! Sleepless nights, nausea, mood swings, an extra forty pounds hanging off of you…it’s intense!
In the meantime, I wrote lots of freelance nonfiction books and short fiction stories, and even a picture book I can’t wait to share with you when it comes out! But for the most part, this year was a very human one, full of very human moments of crying and laughing and stretching my skin farther than I thought possible.
My daughter was born in late June, two weeks late, proof that sometimes deadlines don’t matter. Since her birth, it’s been a constant chaos of diapers and cluster feeding and taking her on little adventures she’ll never remember. It’s also made me slow down, and my creative energy has started to swell again. How could it not, when you have this new life, and all the beauty and ponderings that come with it, staring you in the face all day (and all night)?
I type poems into my phone. I recite poetry to my little girl (she’s partial to "Still I Rise" by Maya Angelou and "The Lake Isle of Innisfree" by W.B. Yeats). I read her children’s books, some so beautiful they should be counted as high literature. And someday soon, I’m going to get back to writing books myself. They’ll be different now, because I’m different.
2018 was my year. I went on the cross-country trip of my dreams. My dream came true when my book came out. I was surprised by the baby I always wanted. And now, 2019 is looking up. Who knows where that ticker will land on that great spinning wheel?
And now, I hear the baby fussing after her morning nap, so I’m going to go sing her “Good Morning” from “Singing in the Rain,” and start my day.
Love to you all, and thanks for sharing my journey.